Advertisements

The Social Conundrum

I have always had a hard time making friends. I never understood how other people my age were able to make friends so easily while I struggled socially. It was so difficult to find the right people to be friends with because I had a tendency to latch onto people who weren’t the best people to be friends with. They were the type of people who could get you into trouble or into very uncomfortable situations. I think this was a sign of desperation as I would become friends with anyone who seemed nice to me.
What I have learned over time though is that friendships take time to develop and that you never know when you’ll meet those who could be the best friends you could ever want. I’ve had such friendships develop at my retail job and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
What I have learned over time though is that friendships take time to develop and that you never know when you’ll meet those who could be the best friends you could ever want. I’ve had such friendships develop at my retail job and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. My coworkers are generally awesome people who really care about each other and will be there for you through thick and thin. I’m fortunate to have forged such relationships at work because I know that others may deal with drama at work. While there is some drama at work that does personally affect me, we generally tend to get along with one another.
I wish that I could make friends outside of work though. I often wonder why I can never seem to get people to like me enough to want to hang out with me. It hurts to go onto social media outlets like Facebook and Instagram and see pictures of good times that coworkers and others have with one another. This is one of the hardest aspects of my life to confront. It can truly be considered a conundrum for me.
What has worked for me socially is to engage with others in online groups and try to connect with those who have similar interests to me. This is how I’ve met some great people who I am friends with outside of the group. I have matured more as well over the years so I am better at showing empathy with others and really try to be a good friend to those that I interact with.
I just wish sometimes that things could be different and that I could have an active social life. With all of the hurdles I’ve crossed in my life this is one that always seems to be an obstacle. I used to wonder what it would be like if I had a different life where I was popular and had a lot of friends. I know it will happen someday but for now I am glad to have my work friends and family to be a source of support and comfort.

Advertisements

Sometimes

Sometimes in the darkness of night
Doubts and insecurities creep into me
I wonder if everything’s okay
Am I okay?
Sometimes I wish for something better
A brighter kind of future
Sometimes I can’t sleep
Sometimes I just lie awake
Wondering if things will be all right
But then I realize
That I have everything I could possibly want
But inside
I know I want more

The View from Up Here

Sometimes when I look out
And see the world around me
I marvel at the beauty and quiet in this suburban street
Life can be so crazy, chaotic, and messy
But the view from up here
Masks the commotion outside
Looking out this window so high up
Makes me realize how fortunate I am
To have such a luxury
Blue skies and bright sunshine
Illuminating the street below
It is just so magical and mystical
Watching life unfurl from this perspective
I wonder if I’m the only one
Who feels this same way about the world?
Can it be possible to admire something you’re not a part of?
Looking out from the heights
Makes me wonder what’s going on in the world
I hear the sounds of the outside world
Want to be involved but I’m transfixed
I was never the outdoorsy type anyway
Just look for yourself
And you’ll see what I mean
Just look out your window
And you’ll be amazed
At the sensory overload
And the things that you’ll see